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sio_ma
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Country: Macao
Gender: Female
Interests: Presently obsess in KH2FM and BL stuff...
Expertise: nth
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/2/2004
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| huh~~A few days ago, I met a man of sixty something, he lives alone and I think he is happy to find somebody to talk to him in his routine life. He is very zealous to welcome me and I feel a bit scare about it as I am not good at handling this kind of people.
I would like to tell him not be so zealous but...I don't know if it will hurt him. Anyway, if I find out that I cannot tolerate, I will explain to him clearly.
One thing about this old man is that his handwriting is very beautiful (in Chinese, English and Portuguese). He can write English with "Chinese fur pen"!!! After seeing his handwriting, I dare not to let him see mine as it is too ugly.
After the pilgrimage, I spent less time in Pio as there was something happened that set apart from Jesus, Mary and me. Previously, something happened and the situation continue. I know that it will not improve my situation so I start to go back to Pio a bit more often though usuallly in the mid-night. I complain a lot in front of the Eucharist though I know I should not; anyway, I have to thank Jesus and Mary to let me heard something that I am escaping and it is time to think twice (don't know if there will be any action later on) | | |
| Half of 2009 Has PassedToday is the first day of July and it means that the other half of the year started. There were many things happened in the past 6 months, some were good and some were bad. One of my dreams had come ture...that is...I travel to Europe! I had never thought that I can have this chance! Thanks be to God! I has become a Catholic though I would like to wait for "that day"; I was told I could not make use of God's love to let Him waiting for me and who knows if I can wait for "that day" again. Sad things, I don't want to "record" here, not merely because I don't want to face them or deal with them...it is just...let's my journal record more happy things than unhappy things, there are more than enough unhappy things already. Let's hope that the next half of the year is better than the previous. | | |
| 心中的話 感受到的是別的東西, 這個沒有人理解, 而現在被人要求一些根本給不到的. 就算你們真的給了, 我是領受不到那又怎樣 ! 而且這也不是一時三刻突然這個樣子的. 留意不到事情老早就已經存在也是各下的問題, 不只是我一個人的錯. 令我看這個世上還有其他顏色的是別人而不是你們. | | |
| Let It BeI don't think I can forgive my aunt or to repair our relationship and I don't want to do this as my heart is still full of hatred towards her. I am telling myself that she is somebody that I don't know and I will try my best to ignore her as possible as I can. If we are in the same place, I will not look at her as her whole self is really disgusting to me and ignite all my negative feeling. I know that I am in disadvantage but I also know that one day, I will overcome it and see the light again. So just let it be and focus on the thing that is more important at the moment. | | |
| First ConsultationAfter two weeks, I still feel hatred and disgust towards my aunt, I decided to consult a father.
I thought that he will tell me what I should do now when we are in the same place but it is not the case, he asked me to dig out my pass and heal every possible wounds so that I can love myself and then love others.
Well! I don't want to touch my pass as most of them are not happy memories but if I don't face it now, it will be more painful for me to touch them when I grow older.
Ok, I have taken the frist step and now is the second step, I am not sure how "big" this step will be.
So, for the time being, I keep escaping my aunt as possible as I can, I am still very aggressive to her in order to protect myself even what I do is ingratutuded. | | |
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